THE APA I KNEW
“Right through my childhood, Apa (as she addressed Madhubala aka Mumtaz Jahan Begum Dehalvi) remained busy shooting. Coming from a conservative Muslim family of Pathans, my father (Ataullah Khan) wasn’t keen that we study. But fortunately, I was sent to St Joseph’s Convent, Bandra. Yes, she was the only earning member. My father worked with the Imperial Tobacco Company in Peshawar with the British. But being a Pathan he was hot-headed and self-respecting. He couldn’t bear being badly treated and lost a 15-year-old job in seconds. He brought all of us to Mumbai. Apa, who was just seven, had talent; she could sing and dance. So she did her first film Basant as a child actor. She remained the earning member till the last. All that we are today, we owe it all to her.‘‘Abba (father) was a disciplinarian. Apa had to begin shooting at 9 am. At 6 pm, the car would be sent to the studio and she’d be brought home. My father never went to the studio.
He was not difficult as is believed. He was disciplined and insisted on punctuality. That was what she imbibed too. Once she was to shoot at Ranjit Studio. But there were heavy rains. Abba said, ‘You must go; your name shouldn’t be tarnished’. Those days Ranjit Studio was a 15-minute drive from our home in Bandra. But it took her an hour and a half to reach. The gates were locked. No one had turned up. She waited for half an hour and returned. ‘‘What do I say of her beauty? The fact that she’s spoken about even 42 years after she passed away is proof enough. We suffered from a complex when we stood beside her. Being Pathans we were all tall, fair and had long hair. But none of us sisters looked like her. Our mother was short. We had taken after our father. But we weren’t a patch on Apa.
She loved wearing plain white sarees. At home she’d wear maxis. She loved mogras in her hair. She was fond of gold and kundan jewellery. She was also fond of sher shayri as she knew a bit of Urdu. An English tutor also came home to teach her. She loved eating chaat — ragda pattice, pani puri — and kulfi. She’d never diet. Those days actresses were healthy women, not size zero! She’d drive all of us to Chowpatty in her imported cars, Hillman, Buick and Station Wagon. But she’d wear a burqa to hide her identity. When she’d be pulled up by the traffic police for that, she’d plead, ‘Please let me wear it or else I’ll get mobbed’.
She even went to watch movies in a burqa. ‘‘Apa became a craze because she was never seen in public. She wasn’t allowed to attend any function, any premiere. She had no friends. But she never resisted, she was obedient. Being protective, my father earned the reputation of being domineering. He was asked why he’d made her join films in the first place. He’d say, ‘I had 12 children. We would’ve starved to death. I’ve lost my sons who could’ve been my support’.‘‘Apa was emotional by nature. She’d be in tears in seconds. We’d keep wondering what had happened. And she’d laugh easily too. The moment she began laughing, she couldn’t stop. So that day’s shooting had to be cancelled! She wasn’t religious but was God fearing. She didn’t fast but prayed once a day.
LOVING AND LOSING
‘‘Apa first fell in love with Premnath. The relationship lasted six months. It broke on grounds of religion. He asked her to convert and she refused. The next relationship was with Dilip Kumar. She met Bhaijan (Dilip Kumar) on the sets of Tarana. They later worked in Sangdil, Amar and Mughal-e-Azam. It was a nine year long affair. They even got engaged. Unki apa aayee thi, chunni lekar (his sister had come with a chunni as is the custom). Bhaijan was also a Pathan. Contrary to reports, my father never stopped her from getting married. We already had enough money by then and were financially secure.
Apa and Bhaijan looked made for each other. He’d often come home. He has even seen me in my school uniform. He was respectful towards us children and addressed us with ‘aap’. The two would go for a drive or sit in the room and talk. ‘‘The breakup with Dilip Kumar happened due to the court case during Naya Daur in the mid ’50s. The unit was to shoot somewhere in Gwalior. During the shooting of another film Jabeen Jaleel, at the same location, a mob had attacked the women and even torn their clothes off.
My father was wary and just asked that the locale be changed. It’s not that he didn’t let her go outdoors. Apa had shot in Mahableshwar, Hyderabad and other places before. Bhaijan called my father ‘a dictator’ in court and sided with the Chopras (late BR Chopra was the director). Darare padh gayee, rishtey toot gaye (relationships were broken).‘‘We love and respect Bhaijan but I have just one question, ‘Aapki mohabbat yahan thi, aapki chahat yahan thi, phir aapne aisa kyun kiya (why didn’t you side with your love)?’ Bhaijan could’ve simply said let’s change the location. Or remained neutral. Apa used to cry a lot those days. They had conversations on the phone trying to patch up. He kept saying, ‘Leave your father and I’ll marry you’. She’d say, ‘I’ll marry you but just come home, say sorry and hug him’. It was zid (ego) which destroyed their love. But my father never asked her to break the engagement or ever demanded an apology from him.
THE LAST YEARS
‘‘On the rebound Apa got involved with Kishore Kumar who was going through a divorce with Ruma Devi Guha Thakurta (actor-singer). What attracted her to Kishore? Maybe it was his singing or maybe his ability to make her laugh. Their love affair went on for three years through Chalti Ka Naam Gadi and Half Ticket. They got married in 1960, when she was 27. After marriage they flew to London where the doctor told her she had only two years to live.
After that Kishore left her at our house saying, ‘I can’t look after her. I’m on outdoors often’. But she wanted to be with him. He’d visit her once in two months though. Maybe he wanted to detach himself from her so that the final separation wouldn’t hurt. But he never abused her as was reported. He bore her medical expenses. They remained married for nine years.
‘‘The hole in her heart (ventricular septal defect) was detected when she was shooting for SS Vasan’s Chalak in Madras 1954. She had vomited blood. She was advised bed rest for three months but continued working as her films would suffer. While shooting for Mughal-e-Azam she was tied with chains and had to walk around with them. That was stressful. By the end of the day her hands would turn blue. She’d even refuse food saying that she had to look anguished and weary for the jail scenes. The ‘feather scene’ between her and Bhaijan (considered the most romantic in Hindi cinema) was shot after the breakup. ‘‘Due to her ailment, her body would produce extra blood. So it would spill out from the nose and mouth. The doctor would come home and extract bottles of blood. She also suffered from pulmonary pressure of the lungs. She coughed all the time. Every four to five hours she had to be given oxygen or else would get breathless. She was confined to bed for nine years and was reduced to just bones and skin. She’d keep crying, ‘Mujhe zinda rehna hai, mujhe marna nahin hai, doctor kab ilaaj nikalenge (I want to live, I don’t want to die, wonder when the doctors will find a cure)’.
‘‘During her last days, I was suffering from chicken pox and so was advised to stay away from her. But when the doctor said that she was sinking, I rushed up to see her. But she had passed away (February 23, 1969). She was only 36 years.
‘‘Though Bhaijan never visited her when she was unwell, he flew down from Madras to pay his last respects at the kabrastan (cemetery). Food was sent from his home to ours for three days (as is the custom). ‘‘I remember when Bhaijan married Saira Banu, Apa was sad because she loved him. She’d say, ‘Unke naseeb mein woh (Saira Banu) thi, main nahin’. But she’d also say, ‘He’s got married to a very pretty girl. She’s so devoted. I’m very happy for him’. But a vacuum remained in her heart. A few years back her tomb was demolished as it was in a Wahabi (a Muslim sect that doesn’t allow building of tombs) cemetery. They wiped away the last memories of a legend.’’
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/drishtikone/2008/03/madhubalas-story-her-sisters-words/
Aditya Khan
Today the writing is about how kind hearted Madhubala was, proofs that it was only Dilip Kumar she truly loved and then why she married Kishore Kumar actually, from the book 'I want to live'.
It was true of course. Madhubala lived her life with her heart. According to the renowned film journalist Gulshan Ewing : 'She always had trouble with her heart, both physically and emotionally, but it was a valiant heart, large and kind and so capable of giving.'
Madhubala is known to have made massive donations to charitable causes. She started early; she was barely seventeen when she created a stir with the sheer audacity of the amount she signed away. The country had just been partitioned; the year was 1950. Bengali refugees from East Pakistan were pouring into India, and a drive was on for collecting money for them. The various distress stories in the newspapers so affected Madhubala that she made an individual contribution of Rs 50,000. It was an extremely large sum, and no star had ever given so lavishly in a single stroke. In an accompanying letter she wrote: 'It is not fair I think for those who are fortunate enough to enjoy the best blessings of God to sit and watch with indifference the sufferings of others....'
Almost every institution that needed help approached her and went away with handsome donations. For her part, she signed the cheques 'and went to work without shouting about it from the roof tops'. Filmindia began to call her our 'queen of charity'
People being what they are, there were times she was taken advantage of and she was cheated. A gentlemen who had once carried messages between Dilip Kumar and Madhubala made a habit of coming to her with various sob stories and walking away with what ever he asked for. There were no questions asked. An assistant director who had grown close to Madhubala watched the routine with growing exasperation and finally reproached her: 'Why do you give him much money repeatedly? You know quite well his claims are false and he is making a fool of you.' A profound compassion overwhelmed her at Madhubala's reply: 'Yes, I know he is cheating on me, but how can I refuse him? Let him have what he wants. He brings in Yusuf's name.' And this was long after their misunderstandings and quarrels had separated them and they had ceased to even speak to one another. Yet she did not have the heart to deny anyone who came to her with Dilip Kumar's name. 'I saw her doing only good to others. I never saw her deceiving anyone or speaking ill of anyone', says a friend. 'She loved doing things for people. It gave her such joy to give.'
One day, when Dilip Kumar's younger brother, Ahsan Khan, dropped by at the studio his eyes fell on a beautiful, new car parked outside. Meeting Madhubala, he asked if the car belonged to her. He fondly remembered the incident that followed: 'In a spontaneous gesture that was typical of her, she promptly handed me her keys and said: "Go and take a drive". Once when B.K. Karanija's little daughter Rattun was overheard asking her father for a cream bun, Madhubala took her aside and inquire: 'Do you like cream buns very much?' And the next day an enormous box of cream buns had been delivered at her doorstep.
The trait of giving was so ingrained that when confined to her home in her last years, if she saw the little boy next door get a spanking from his mother, she sent him a box of chocolates. When Raj Khosla said of her: 'All in all, she is a noble thing, exemplary in many ways and very generous at heart,' there were many to echo these sentiments.
It was really no surprise at all that when Madhubala fell in love, she committed herself totally and for life. 'Madhu loved only one man', confirmed her sister Kaneez Fatima, 'and that was Dilip Kumar, till the day she died.' Another sister, Madhur, said: 'Yes, she was interested initially in Premnath, but it was Dilip Kumar she loved and she ended up in a marriage with Kishore Kumar. Apart from these there were no other involvements, though men tried to associate themselves with her because she was so beautiful.'
She was genuinely fond of Premnath and in her own way enjoyed a mild flirtation with him but she was not in love with him and that phase soon ended - with no hard feelings.
The early fifties were Madhubala's best years. She was rapturously and ecstatically in love and exuded happiness. Recalling those days, Gulshan Ewing wrote: 'For a while, she thrust on me the mantle of "confidante". Many were the whispered conversations she had with me, all rustling with the same rhythm - Yusuf, Yusuf, Yusuf. She was so in love, the light leapt out and dazzled everyone. She would squeal when his name was mentioned, she would blush and perspire when his presence was imminent.'
According to Sheila Dalaya: 'She told me she fell in love with Dilip Kumar during the making of Tarana. Just to see him made her so happy. She also confessed she didn't like to see his photographs with other actresses!' "They met many times here in "Girnar". When she left home for shooting, she'd drop by here and meet him,' said Shushila Rani.
Tarana was released in 1951 and Madhubala's co star was Dilip Kumar. The young Madhubala spoke to her sisters of her new co-star: 'There's a luminous magnetism in his eyes like they have been filled with crushed pearls....You look at him once and your eyes become rooted; you cannoy take your gaze away.' A lyrical description from a girl completely in love! When she gave her heart to her Tarana co-star, it was for life. Nothing could change that fact no matter where it let her, no matter what her domineering father said or did and no matter whom she eventually married.
According to Dilip Kumar: 'She was a very, very obedient daughter.' Madhubala could not leave her family. 'I cannot think of marriage', she would say, 'till I have fulfilled my responsibilities to my family.' Madhur Bhushan acknowledges that whatever they're today is because of Madhubala.
When Dilip Kumar gave her conditions to leave her father and go with Dilip Kumar to marry him, she said nothing. Gentle as she was, Madhubala could also be fiercely independent. Forced to decide between one or the other, she had opted for her family. She may have thought her father very strict but she was deeply attached to him, genuinely believing that she was what she was because of him and it was unthinkable for her to desert her family. It is another matter that the family did not encourage her to seek her own happiness.
Why did Madhubala marry Kishore Kumar? There are no clear answers. She barely knew him and she was not emotionally involved with him. Nadira saw her one day wearing a ring with the letters K set in diamonds and to her astonished queries, she was told: 'It is about time when I settled down. I am very happy with Kishore. He's so comic he makes me laugh all the time; at least he does not hurt me.' Nadira asked no more questions. 'I knew what she meant.'
A friend rationalized that 'she simply wanted to forget the past. Forget Dilip Kumar, the court case, the differences, the unpleasantness.' B.K. Karanija assumrd that 'she may have felt that perhaps this was her best chance. At that point of time she was like a trapped person....'
Whatever the reasons perceived, falling in love with Kishore Kumar was not among them. She was a desperately unhappy woman, who was shocked and disillusioned with life. 'In the sacred books, it is said that if you do good, good will be done unto you,' she once said, 'With me it has been otherwise. Whenever I did good nothing but evil was done to me.'
Kishore Kumar's whismical behaviour, so different from that of the urbane Dilip Kumar, took her mind off her troubles and made her laugh and she made the fatal mistake of not going deeper and judging the man to whom she was committing herself. In all probability, she only saw what she wanted to see - a genial, jolly, entertaining young man with whom she could live an uncomplicated life. She could not have foreseen the turn this marriage would take.
Karanija confirmed: 'She was a very warm human being who needed to be loved, even worshipped. There was such wealth in her. I don't think she ever got that love.'
Her biggest weakness was always her heart. Love had elevated her, brushing her life with its grandeur and glory, but a tired, overburden heart had just as surely crushed her..